Who knew that the sex lives of African bat bugs could be so interesting? Males with female genitalia, female bugs with ‘paragenitals’ on their abdomens that guide the males to the right spot by basically impaling them if they mess up, males trying to impregnate males.

It’s Extreme Transexualism, coming soon to a species near you.

Why is it necessary in these bugs? Males tend to get overanxious and just start stabbing away anywhere in the abdomen but they really need to go into a special warm place that some men on the internet know nothing about - though it’s still in their abdomen, in the case of female bat bugs. Yes, male bat bugs use blood insemination and then the sperm have to swim to the ovaries.

It’s gruesome and bizarre and therefore completely worthy of a science article that transcends zoology and gets right to the sexual politics.

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I read an article from Men’s Health talking about how women get aroused during exercises.

Specifically, hanging leg raises. “Coregasm” they called it, because some women can, apparently, have an orgasm while doing these exercises.

Aside from the fact that it’s a really cool term, I was a little jealous. Men need to do some real work to climax. Sure, we all know women have it easier in that regard, much like they have it easier than men in all aspects of life, but women can get off while exercising now? As if they need any more advantages. Anyway, I had never heard of it and I have dated some fit women, including a few for whom I am certain sex was just another way to “feel the burn.” I never had one tell me she could could get off while lifting weights though.

So I decided to do some investigating. As most of you are aware, I am something of an expert on female orgasms, and not just because my intellect and humor are the causes of more web-based rubouts than Brad Pitt and George Clooney combined. It’s also because I do the research. You’ll recall I wrote an article on whether the Theta waves in female orgasms would kill men and I even reverse engineered the female orgasm including how a calibrated vaginal stimulator works, for those of you unlucky enough to have never dated a scientist.

So I am the perfect person to answer this question for you. It turns out there may be some science in this, though I think most female orgasms usually involve a combination of alcohol and magic.

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Seriously, I did not originate that headline.

Clearly, I have nothing against vaginas, since I wrote articles talking about how women were using evolution to create two vaginas and enchant twice as many men at the same time and how the new James Bond got that job thanks to the magic of Sienna Miller’s career-enhancing vagina but I am not completely obsessed with them either.

I actually kind of wish I had written that headline but, no, it was written in something called “The OC Weekly” - “O.C.” is what Orange County people would like to be called, because it sounds cooler than Orange County. It’s still a lame cousin to L.A. - heck, even the Angels changed their name to “Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim” to avoid the Orange County stigma.

But even if the place is lame the writer for the magazine came up with a pretty good article. I don’t usually endorse other articles here because that would cost me my $.05 on Google AdSense - and I will need to buy a DVD some time in 2009 so I really need that money. But with a subtitle like “Even for battle-worn sluts, genitals are a difficult thing to contend with” it’s bound to be a pretty good read.

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And they think they have discovered that the vagina has underrated by clitoral activists.Obviously you can’t just make that claim. Tests have to be done. Orgasms have to be studied. While scientists have caused plenty of orgasms most of us haven’t studied them. How do you study them? I wanted to know. Apparently the first step was to create a Calibrated Vaginal Stimulator, basically something you could attach to a transducer to measure the force that women apply to the vaginal wall. Then you could know what is really happening.

“A Transducer?” I ask. “Are we at Bose?”

“Women self-stimulate,” explains Rutgers neuropsychologist Barry Komisaruk, “and we use functional magnetic resonance imaging to look at which parts of their brains respond.”

Ummmm …

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