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Sunday, March 5th, 2006

The New James Bond Is A Wuss - But He’ll Get Naked

Daniel Craig has been under fire from moment one. Not many people have thought he would be good in the role - except the daughter of the guy who built the franchise. We’ve already established that English chicks are nuts and having a girl pick the next James Bond is proof of it.

So he’s blonde and that isn’t good. But whatever. He’s also a major league wuss who can’t even drive JB’s car and that’s a little harder to forgive.

So what is his answer to all those criticisms?

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Posted in culture, movies | 3 Comments »



Tuesday, January 24th, 2006

Sienna Miller Sends Her Guy Packing Again

I’m all for nutso chicks. Especially nutso hot chicks. I am kind of like the Air Traffic Control of crazy women. I don’t care which airline you are on, I just want to make sure we all land safely. So bring it on.

But Sienna Miller is something special. Now the word is she has kicked out that Jude Law guy again, who has some shockingly awful taste in women, and is canoodling with the older dork version of Darth Vader. Not the annoying little kid from Episode 1 but the pouty, whiny adult from Episodes 2 and 3. You know, the one you actually enjoyed seeing get chopped in half because he was such a putz. Speculation is this is yet another publicity stunt of hers.

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Posted in movies, science, vaginas | 2 Comments »



Saturday, December 10th, 2005

Chinks And Nips Are Racist

You don’t need a Master’s Degree in History to know that the casting in the movie Memoirs of A Geisha was going to cause some problems - and if you do have a Master’s Degree in History, I ordered a grande Mocha extra hot, with the whipped cream. Anyway, back to the movie. The movie, you see, is about Geishas. Those are the Japanese girls who make you tea and generally keep their traps shut. And the movie has two Chinese girls as the lead actresses.

Get it? No, of course you don’t. No one does, except the Chinese and the Japanese and every other country in Asia which happens to hate every other country in Asia. These people are livid. The Chinese are angry because their Chinese actresses are acting as Japanese women and one of them even has a sex scene with a Japanese man - much as tens of thousands of Chinese women did while being raped during the occupation of Nanking in 1937. Japan is angry that director Rob Marshall couldn’t find a single actress in Japan to portray Japanese women. And that their grandfathers still talk about how hot the women in China were during the occupation of 1937 and that they can’t get any today.

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Posted in China, actresses, culture, movies | 1 Comment »



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