Need To Learn Fractals? Get Cornrows!

There’s some modern school of thought that says you have to be ‘culturally relevant’ to teach students, like students in New York City won’t get it if you use a mathematical example that involves counting trees. So if you want your students to learn fractal geometry you have to use corn row hair braids to make your point. Take this, for example:

“Each braid is represented as multiple copies of a “Y” shaped plait. In each iteration, the plait is copied, and a transformation is applied. The series of transformed copies creates the braid.”

Now, honestly, does any kid who can understand that sentence need to be talked down to and given culturally relevant examples about corn rows? I bet not.

But, hey, I don’t mind occasionally taking the easy road so I have already ordered my motorized ice cream cone. Yes, I am that lazy. Months ago I even outsourced my video gaming to Asia. And pretty much my whole life.

But not the sex part of it - well, not completely. To get excited, I just watch this Japanese woman breast feed her cat. But don’t tell the little woman. It can be our dirty secret.

John Tierney of the Times writes:

I went to Garth Sundem, the wickedly ingenious author of Geek Logik, a new book of mathematical formulas for deciding questions like whether you should sleep with a co-worker, whether you should join a gym or see a therapist, and whether you can wear a Speedo without frightening small children.

I asked Sundem to set his sights even higher. The result of our labors (well, mostly his labors, but I want a piece of this scientific breakthrough) is the Sundem/Tierney Unified Celebrity Theory, an equation for predicting the odds that a celebrity marriage will last.

By comparing the many failed marriages with the few successes (like Johnny Cash and June Carter, or Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward), Sundem identified telltale factors likes celebrities’ ages, marital track records and levels of fame.

Younger couples have worse prospects than older couples do, particularly if they rush to the altar before getting to know each other. Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have only a 1 percent chance of making it to their fifth anniversary, according to our equation, and the most famously impetuous young couple of all, Romeo and Juliet, would have had zero chance of lasting five years.

(more…)

Sexy? Ummm, yeah, a little. But only to scientists.

Nah, not sexy at all. This article is by UK writer Henry Nicholls on mathematical modelling of infectious diseases. This technique allows ‘virtual epidemics’ to be run, testing the effects of different assumptions or possible interventions.

Obviously this is important to the British, since their farmers have made careers out of feeding cow brains to their bovine friends, thus driving the big buggers insane and making Brits the butt of jokes even in places like Canada - where they really have no reason to be making fun of other people.

Enjoy the rest of the article on how science is making the world safe from idiot farmers here.

Russians, Americans and Chi-Coms all squared off against each other. Organized deception, intrigue, insults, reclusive personalities … another day in international politics? Not this time. It’s mathematicians. You think physicists are strange? Try to figure out mathematicians some time.*

It starts with a bit of mathematical fluff called the Poincaré conjecture, encompasses certifiable silliness in the name of string theory and ends with a million dollars. You just don’t get more intrigue than that.

Forget for a moment the big picture issue here, namely that string theory has become popular among people trying to get gullible civilians excited about science and a hundred years from now it will only be remembered by nostalgic history students who will regard it with the same quaint fondness that medical students have for skull drilling and leeches. Mathematicians think this issue is important and mathematicians, like shrill harpies bleating about global warming or evangelists wearing signs telling you the end of the world is next week, only feel important if they are impacting the game. And getting grants.