Archive for the 'junk science' Category

Sunday, November 11th, 2007

Save The Planet, Make Your Pets Insane

I’m usually a pretty patient guy about marketing. Unlike some, I am not educated by it and, unlike others, I don’t look down on it. I know why it it exists and I appreciate its value but at some point in advocacy issues ( in this case the environment ) it invariably crosses a line from being funny to offensive and then it goes completely over the line into being the kind of junk science that needs to be ridiculed.

My latest gripe is the claim that low energy bulbs are a magic panacea for the environment and that they are wonderful in all respects. I don’t use them and there are a few compelling reasons why you should focus on other ways to save the environment also.

The main reason I don’t use them is because I am not smug enough.

You know what I am talking about. Who actually laughed at those Apple television ads where the smug, hipster guy is the Apple user and the buffoon uses a PC? It takes some true marketing incompetence to make Microsoft seem lovable but they did it. The only people who liked those ads were Apple users, who are already smug.

Now we have commercials where a hip CFL bulb guilt trips a traditional light bulb in the same condescending manner - and without about the same level of actual data behind it. It will sell some lightbulbs - and maybe make your cat insane, but we’ll get to that in a minute. First, let’s discuss light.

The whole point of light bulbs was to give us daylight at night - at first, anything was better than dark but we later discovered that the closer you can get to natural light, the better off you will be. Here is a chart showing the light spectrum, including daylight, incandescent and fluorescent bulbs.

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Monday, May 7th, 2007

Smart teens don’t have sex (or kiss much either)

High intelligence is the best protection against early sexual activity during adolescence, research has shown. Can it be that intelligent kids don’t need free condoms to be convinced they shouldn’t have sex? Well, yes, that may be, but it may also be that smart kids just can’t get dates.


Virgin by choice? Or she just can’t get a date?

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Monday, March 5th, 2007

Who Funds The Chocolate Consensus?



In case you were hiding under a rock, there was the scientific equivalent of an earth-shattering thunderclap that emanated from the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) meetings held February 15th-19th in San Francisco - to be honest, they pretend everything they say is big news, you can see 20 articles from it just on Scientific Blogging - but I mean this was legitimately big news.

Was it that they took their own vote and decided that there is global warming after all? No, someone jumping on the climate change bandwagon is nothing new.

Was it that your astrological sign can tell you what medical problems you will have? That one was a lot of fun but still not it.

No, the most surprising news was that chocolate makes you smarter.

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Sunday, January 28th, 2007

Would Female Orgasms Kill Men?

 
Always thought women were the stronger sex? Okay, I admit it, me too.
 
But I am inclined to be a little skeptical when someone pimping their book cites ancillary evidence rather than studies so even if the logic is good I tend to maintain a healthy disbelief.
 
Ryuichi Kaneko and Dr. Kunio Kitamura, two of the co-authors of "Sex no Subete ga Wakaru Hon (Everything You Need to Know About Sex)" write in the Mainichi Daily News:
 
When an orgasm has been achieved through sex, you can measure theta waves. These are also said to cause the "running high" feeling of euphoria experienced sometimes by marathon runners. If theta waves are taken as a criterion, the entire brain emits theta waves when women reach an orgasm that are close on 10 times stronger than when men climax. So, if theta waves are an indication of an orgasm's strength, then women experience an orgasm that is physically impossible for men to go through. Putting it a little crudely, if the intensity of a woman's orgasm was played through a man's brain, there's a danger that the shock to his system would kill him. That risk makes it impossible to experiment on a man at the moment. And men can never become women.

 
That's right, people - the theta waves for women are 10X what they are for men.  This explains why some women have had actual vaginal explosions when dating scientists - there is only so much pleasure even women can sustain.

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Tuesday, December 5th, 2006

Need A Christmas Gift For That Special Left-Leaning Chick? Try Ethical Underwear

You can absolutely bet when a marketing department uses the word “ethical” - about its lingerie - someone is out to make a buck at your expense. And they think you will believe anything, my environmental friends.

But French designer Sophie Young’s g=9.8 company is doing it with a straight face. In yet another blatant product placement on treehugger.com they claim the kinds of things only the well-meaning but gullible among us will believe; namely that the company is producing a line of lingerie which will make your hippy chick girlfriend quiver with environmentally friendly delight.

Fabric made from white pine tree clippings!

No water used!

The comfort of silk!

The feel of cashmere!

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