Archive for the 'culture' Category

Friday, December 22nd, 2006

A Quantum Mechanics Explanation For Santa Claus

Sometimes people think that, because I write this column for peanuts, I am somehow available for free science consulting services. Obviously this is not the case but I don’t mind the occasional question, especially if it concerns real puzzles like how a car in China doesn’t cause global warming but a car in America does.

Lately I have been pestered with questions about this whole Christmas thing. It’s a troublesome issue, I agree, but I am not in the free science business so most of the questions I just ignore - however, one of the many,many,many (not that many - Lady Scientist ) groupies that flitter about me on the internet caught my attention recently with their query about Yule physics because they had the creativity to put it in seasonal rhyming form;

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Thursday, December 7th, 2006

A Plea For Eating Disorder Tolerance

Just this once, we need to talk about something serious. I know it’s easy for people to have a knee-jerk reaction to the problems of others and just start laughing but we’re all adults here. So I am going to bring this up and then we can discuss the underlying issues and what we, as a society, can do to help.

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You see, I just discovered that Dennis Quaid has “manorexia.” Sometimes he looks in the mirror and realizes he is 50 years old and he doesn’t feel beautiful. And I have a confession to make, because Dennis Quaid’s bravery under the intense pressure of society’s unrealistic media-based expectations has inspired me:

I have manorexia too.

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Monday, December 4th, 2006

Want Men To Understand Your Relationship? Make A Card Game Out Of It

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I’ve done acupressure for over 20 years. Not because I am some wussified New Age guy who cites Three Men And A Baby as his favorite movie but because it works. I have taken aspirin maybe once in that time for a headache.I didn’t learn it from an ancient Chinese guru, I learned it by reading a book.

When you are a young guy, you are just reading for knowledge and you can learn lots of interesting things by reading books. The one interesting - and important - thing you could not learn through reading was about relationships.

Until now.

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Monday, November 20th, 2006

Bond. Cash Bond.

People who have known me for a long time know that when I am not dazzling the world with scientific brilliance, I am a Formula One race car driver who also solves mysteries on TV. What the rest of you may not know is that I was also the star of a major motion picture.

It was a different take on the James Bond story - I played an American spy who pretends to be a scientist and the movie was about what would happen if all those spurned women from my adventures got together for revenge. They kept the title simple and to-the-point: Cash Must Die. Sadly, this movie lost its financing during production ( Chopper Chicks In Zombie Town III went over budget and they diverted the money, those bastards ) and the script is tied up in legal so this movie poster is all that remains.

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Tuesday, November 14th, 2006

Surest Sign Of The Apocalypse - No More Blondes

According to this article, researchers at the World Health Organization have claimed that the last natural blonde will be born in Finland in 2202. And the BBC version tells us German scientists have claimed this is due to decreasing frequency of the recessive gene for blonde hair.

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The SkyNet article states that when the last Ice Age ended 11,000 years ago blonde hair and blue eyes were developed as a competitive advantage in getting a caveman. That’s right, with men in short supply some girls had to use manipulation in order to get one of us - and even then blondes were known to be more fun.

The Germans say the problem is racial mixing - yes, Germans speaking out against racial mixing. Whoda thunk it?

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