Science articles, even in the casual world of the internet, take a great deal of research. It’s not always easy making science look easy.

As all of you know, my articles are meticulously detailed, well thought out and ergonomically terrific in almost every way. That doesn’t happen by accident. But sometimes revelations for new articles happen by accident, like when I am researching something else.

While I was researching the most important article in the history of the internet I decided, in the interests of maintaining my impeccable credentials, that I needed a picture of a hot girl in a river. I keep a substantial folder of supermodel endorsements and pictures for occasions like this. But I didn’t have girls that fish so it took some time.

And then I stumbled across this picture:

And the happy accident came to me - because women have proved, once again, that they are intellectually and emotional on a different level than men. Namely, because they will date some really ugly guys.

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Dorian was the artist. GG was the model.

Let’s be honest. Science by itself is mostly useless. It takes someone with a plan to make science into technology and then it takes people to embrace the technology. Being embraced by the right people often overcomes superior product development. Betamax was better in every way than VHS but the porn industry, and therefore porn customers, liked VHS. Exit Betamax.

Likewise, while I totally heart science, I recognize that the practical application of it is much more important than the research. Silicon was discovered by Jöns Jacob Berzelius in 1824, for example, but it wasn’t until some of its atoms got polymerized and made into silicone breast implants that anyone in science cared much about it. Oh yeah, and I guess that computer nonsense has something to do with silicon too.

Scientists respect anyone who can take science and make cool things out of it but, at the top of the application pyramid, are old school movie industry special effects guys.

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High intelligence is the best protection against early sexual activity during adolescence, research has shown. Can it be that intelligent kids don’t need free condoms to be convinced they shouldn’t have sex? Well, yes, that may be, but it may also be that smart kids just can’t get dates.

Virgin by choice? Or she just can’t get a date?

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People who have known me for a long time know that when I am not dazzling the world with scientific brilliance, I am a Formula One race car driver who also solves mysteries on TV. What the rest of you may not know is that I was also the star of a major motion picture.

It was a different take on the James Bond story - I played an American spy who pretends to be a scientist and the movie was about what would happen if all those spurned women from my adventures got together for revenge. They kept the title simple and to-the-point: Cash Must Die. Sadly, this movie lost its financing during production ( Chopper Chicks In Zombie Town III went over budget and they diverted the money, those bastards ) and the script is tied up in legal so this movie poster is all that remains.

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According to this article, researchers at the World Health Organization have claimed that the last natural blonde will be born in Finland in 2202. And the BBC version tells us German scientists have claimed this is due to decreasing frequency of the recessive gene for blonde hair.

The SkyNet article states that when the last Ice Age ended 11,000 years ago blonde hair and blue eyes were developed as a competitive advantage in getting a caveman. That’s right, with men in short supply some girls had to use manipulation in order to get one of us - and even then blondes were known to be more fun.

The Germans say the problem is racial mixing - yes, Germans speaking out against racial mixing. Whoda thunk it?

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