Esquire magazine scribe Tom Junod recently wrote something that made me question my judgment and his sanity - namely that Franziska Michor Is the Isaac Newton of Biology.
Now, the last time someone compared themselves to Isaac Newton it was … well, okay it was me, but even I can’t be serious about comparing myself to Isaac Newton. Isaac Newton is a serious guy in physics. A giant. Maybe the giant. It’s one thing to make comparisons for dramatic effect, which a keen writer like Junod can do better than anyone, but another to make a serious case.
Isaac Newton is the metric for comparison because he is so fundamental. Isaac Newton to physicists is like a Prius is to environmental activists. He’s that important. So it would be easy to dismiss Junod out of hand because, let’s face it, he knows jack about science. But dismissing things out of hand is not what science is about so, instead, we will do what scientists always do when faced with a hypothesis.
Make a bunch of tables.
As you can see by the table below we have compiled a list of important criteria for our evaluation. That will help us decide who is really better, Michor or Newton.
| Characteristic | Isaac Newton | Franziska Michor | Advantage |
| Born Christmas day, 1642 to an illiterate yeoman | Born to professor Peter Michor, a differential geometry wizard | Draw. Born on Christmas cancels out a math guru father | |
| Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge, age 26 | Ph.D. in evolutionary biology from Harvard, age 22 | Newton. He got the best title in science from the greatest university of its day when most people don't even own a house. | |
| Hated by Robert Hooke for his work in physics | Hated by a billion religious people for her work in evolutionary biology | Newton. That Hooke was a real prick | |
| Invented calculus so he could do, you know, important stuff | Can drive an 18-wheeler | Michor. 70% of high school math students hate Newton. No one hates a hot girl truck driver | |
| None. He ate every meal in a coffeehouse | Can bake a pie from scratch | Michor. It's pie | |
| Halley, now of the famous comet, tried to stump Newton with a physics riddle. Newton had already solved it and wrote Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica to flesh it all out | Learned to drive a truck because they had too many horses to tow with a car | Newton. Though to be fair to Michor, next to Archimedes "Eureka!", Newton has the coolest anecdote ever and the hot girl truck driver thing can only take you so far | |
| Used math to solve the mysteries of planetary motion | Uses math to solve the mysteries of cancer | Michor. Planetary motion never killed anyone |
Oh, a 3 to 3 tie. I hadn’t anticipated this but we have a solution. We’ll use the set of secondary criteria that most scientists, and all of the readers of this site, use when making important decisions. We’ll compare pictures:
  |
Yep, that looks like a 4-3 win for Michor in my book. I guess those Esquire guys know their science after all.
Well played, Mr. Junod.
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This entry was posted on Thursday, December 13th, 2007 at 12:00 pm and is filed under science, physics, biology, hot chicks. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
December 14th, 2007 at 11:53 am
Come on. She is not that cute. My wife who is a neuro-radiologist is much much hotter. Besides I went to Harvard for a masters. There are very few women that really register on the ‘hot models’ scale. Now my wife who graduated in three years from Northwestern. Is an MD and did a fellowship in neuroradiology yes, she registers on that scale.
December 14th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Dr. Shinaver,
How about some pics??
December 14th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Well, sure, in neurology. If you send a pic, I’ll do a new article with the hottest women from each field and a bio on each of them.
But we’re talking about evo-bio here. For biology, she is Heidi Klum and Angelina Jolie all rolled into one.
December 14th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
You western people, you made hell for your self, with beauty as your bases for every thing. I think she is absolutely gorgeous and her brain is even prettier! You people reduced women to no more then meat!
December 14th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
You’re in Toronto. So if western decadence is all that bad, ummmm, why are you here?
December 14th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
She’s pretty, but she is definitely not ‘hot’ and ‘beautiful’.
If anyone thinks she is beautiful it’s time to get out of the ghetto and do some traveling. On the web at least.
When it comes to westerners, Google ‘russian women’ and see what ‘beautiful’ is.
Kournikova and the other well known Russians are average when it comes to beauty in Russia.
December 14th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
I guess Kournikova could have gotten a science PhD from Harvard at 22 too.
Sorry to all about the slowness. Dreamhost is okay for the 2000-3000 visits a day I usually get but not for a lot at one time. I write about girls and science all of the time; who knew a biologist would be so popular?
December 14th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Dr. Shinaver,
You are riding high, aren’t you, and according to you, she’s not that cute.
All things are impermanent in life, especially arrogance and pride. Watch out!
(And by the way, one of the leading causes of death in the U.S., according to published studies, is the medical profession. No need for the pride. Whoops, there goes one…)
December 14th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Well you guys are nuts. Sure she’s pretty but man look at her accomplishments. Not bad in a country that quietly keeps women below their potentials.
December 14th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Dr Shinaver… You are a Tool.
December 14th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Dr Shinaver:
And I suppose you’re not biased in any way about your wife, eh? Care to post a pic and a link to back up your claims? Until then, it is OK for this woman to be hotter then your wife. Don’t be jealous.
December 14th, 2007 at 2:49 pm
Dr. Shinaver. Put up or shut up.
Until then, it is the judgment of this website that your wife harasses billygoats for coin from under the bridge.
Respectfully,
Bob
December 14th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
Can we at least get a tie for the ‘Human Importance of Work’ category?
I think it would be a little hard for Michor to solve the riddles of cancer without some of the ‘math stuff’ that Newton invented. From what I understand some of Newtons work can also be found in a lot of the other sciences.
December 14th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Shinaver, Christina N., M.D. (University of Illinois, 1990), Volunteer Clinical Lecturer in Radiology, Evansville Center for Medical Education
December 14th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
He fibs??
Christina N. Shinaver M.D.
Specialty: Radiology
Medical School:
University of Illinois, College of Medicine, Chicago, IL - 1990
Internship Hospital:
West Suburban Hospital, Oak Park, IL
Residency Hospital:
University of Illinois (Michael Reese Hosp.), and Armed Forces Institute of Patholog
Board Certification:
Diagnostic & Neuroradiology
December 14th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
A tie??? On a site with articles like “The Science of Freak Magnets” you expect scientific accuracy?
I can’t use the fact that she bakes as a criterion if we get too picky. And a billion religious people screaming for your head is much scarier than one competitor writing angry letters to you … but it’s funnier my way.
Or so I think.
December 14th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
She *could* be hot, if she had Isaac’s hairdresser.
December 14th, 2007 at 8:02 pm
[…] blog que le recomendamos para que aprenda todo lo que la ciencia puede darle. Read More Post aComment […]
December 14th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
>I guess Kournikova could have gotten
>a science PhD from Harvard at 22 too.
Perhaps if she had the parents to push her in that direction then yes.
PhD or no PhD, I couldn’t care less, but one thing she’s not is hot or beautiful. You have mediocre standards when it comes to beauty.
December 15th, 2007 at 1:00 am
Dr. Shinaver,
no one wants your wife
December 15th, 2007 at 8:08 am
Sticks and stones! Is beauty is in the eye of the beholder or is it just skin deep? The girls make me proud and Dr. S, someone somewhere most likely wants your wife.
December 18th, 2007 at 1:42 am
Hey, that off the cuff response generated a lot of activity. I really didn’t expect anyone to care.
Someone did a little homework, but they didn’t mention undergrad school or her fellowship on that data sheet.
But….do I really want to forward pics of my wife…..not so much. And, yes that issue of someone wanting my wife……okay I’ll skip the pics.
I’ll have to show her this thread. See what she thinks. She’ll laugh. Besides she will be happy about the proud husband bit.
I like the tie on human importance of work.
Fibs?? your data doesn’t suggest that. A tool… whatever.
Arrogance, pride, I won’t contest that completely. Don’t worry humility isn’t hard to find either.
That was fun.
December 18th, 2007 at 5:58 am
yo you make an intrsting point science rocks with good looking ladies…yours truly 50 cent
December 18th, 2007 at 8:13 am
Dr. Shinaver wrote:
You were a pretty good sport about all of that. Generally when discussions get into wives, women or mothers … okay, all women … it’s a bad idea to comment.
All wives are beautiful - ‘Jack is no judge of Jill’s beauty’, as the saying goes. If yours happens to be the most beautiful of all, so be it.
January 20th, 2008 at 6:19 am
[…] I got my last issue of Science News yesterday. I won’t be renewing my subscription. My mom gets it and she always gives them to me. There’s a new mag coming out… Science Illustrated. It looks a little more in depth and I’m thinking they’ll have a swimsuit issue (check this out for why I hope so). […]
January 25th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
A pretty girl with no brains is just sad.
February 5th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
i’d hit it.
April 21st, 2008 at 1:42 pm
[…] Does it count as introducing if she was extensively covered a href=”http://www.esquire.com/michor1207″>in Esquire last year? Though I’d be surprised if any of you read Esquire, so I assume I’ll get away with it if I don’t mention all the other places we’ll be competing with for Google coverage. Not least her lab. SHE HAS A LAB. […]