Population science is more art than science so you can count on me to be a little skeptical. However, there are times when the numbers are just too alarming and we have to mobilize for action.
What is this looming population catastrophe? It’s Elvis impersonators. Even the Center for Disease Control has sounded the alarm about this issue.  If the CDC is worried about an issue, so am I.
When Elvis Presley died in 1977, there were an estimated 37 Elvis impersonators in the world. By 1993, there were 48,000 Elvis impersonators, an exponential increase. Extrapolating from this, by 2010 there will be 2.5 billion Elvis impersonators. The population of the world will be 7.5 billion by 2010. Every 3rd person will be an Elvis impersonator by 2010. - Source: Caen, H., San Francisco Chronicle; October 27, 1993
That’s right, people. 1 in 3. We don’t have a lot of time to act.
Now, there will be skeptics and I recognize that. There will always be skeptics and I am usually first in line. I can understand why there is some skepticism on the causes of global warming. After all, most of us don’t live on the coast and we don’t think we need to change our lives so that Barbra Streisand can block off swaths of public beach and have a nice view.
This is not to say we don’t know that global warming is happening. It is obviously happening:
Oops, that isn’t global warming. That’s global sexiness.And I can understand why people aren’t concerned about genetically modified foods. Hey, I don’t mind fake breasts on women so I don’t see why they would bother me on chicken:
But this Elvis impersonator business is serious stuff. Look at this graph:
Hockey sticks do not lie, my friends.
I will finish with a quote from the outstanding scientists at Annika’s Journal:
The Elvis impersonator crisis is real, humans are causing the problem, and the solutions are available to us now. It is not too late to avoid the worst. All that is needed is the political will to act.
Amen. If someone at the UN tells me I have to be an Elvis impersonator you can bet I am writing me some letters to my Congressman.
And pies. I want more pies.
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This entry was posted on Sunday, January 7th, 2007 at 11:52 am and is filed under climate change, culture, environment, genetics, global warming, humor, science. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
April 21st, 2007 at 4:01 am
Kind of stupid aren’t you? I mean genetically modified chickens is not something you want to be eating. Nor is cloned chickens. Loaded with chemicals that can do the same to you as it does to them. Rapid aging. If you look at Dolly, the cloned sheep she didn’t even live half a normal sheep life. NOT even half. Due to accelerants that they use to rapidly develop the fetus. Problem is the accelerants never leave the body. They are in the hard drive like a virus and cannot be gotten back out. The problem is too many stupid people and not enough intelligent ones to fight the idiocy of our government.
April 21st, 2007 at 7:41 am
Hi Lisa,
I am not sure how you took a humor post and parlayed that into a diatribe on cloning chickens, but I am game.
Can you point me to even one instance where a cloned chicken made anyone ill? Or any genetically modified food? Organic foods made 200 people ill just a short while ago but 300 million people eat genetically modified food and have never had even a stomach cramp.
Do you think the government is in favor of cloning? Actually, they are quite against it.
Do you think the meat - the actual chemical composition much less the genetic structure - can somehow be different in a cloned animal from a normal one?
April 27th, 2007 at 11:03 am
hi what is suppose to be about ! are you dumb white craker or a pice of crap
April 27th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Victoria, yes, my joking about too many Elvis impersonators makes me both a dumb white cracker AND a piece of shit. You’re the only one who noticed so … great job!
July 13th, 2007 at 11:57 am
Got a kick out of your chart and the reference to the global warming nutjobs that no one got except for me! Found your site while trying to find a picture of Asian elvis impersonators singing karaoke. GL!
July 13th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Spread the word Kyle! Elvis impersonators and misuse of hockey sticks are the two greatest threats to our way of life.
P.S. And thanks for leaving a comment. I get thousands of readers but not many comments. I am just too funny, I suppose.
November 21st, 2007 at 6:52 am
you really have nice breasts. i want to lick them.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:00 am
i want toby to eat your mom. the chick with the modified breasts has a really sexy face, i want to lick it. i doing naughty stuff with your picture now.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:01 am
it was me who wrote that stuff in joshes name… im a lezbian.. and i like it that way.
February 13th, 2008 at 5:08 am
Enjoyed the article and your wit. Felt compelled to write something decent after reading those last few comments.
February 23rd, 2008 at 11:10 am
Wow, hockey stix really DON’T lie! LOL!
February 27th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Norm and Mia,
Thanks. It’s nice to know people appreciate important science articles like this.
May 19th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Hahahaha!
YES THREATS!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
well..u hv some stats there..but there are som nerds who dont see more than the the face or those breasts!!..any ways got your point…