November 8th, 2006
Let’s face it, sometimes we get tired of dating models. Sure, they clean up well but it gets annoying having to tell her she’s beautiful a hundred times a day and the cocaine bill gets expensive. You might think you have no hope of getting an attractive low-maintenance
geek girl and I am inclined to agree ( that
you can’t anyway ) but I would rather light a candle than curse your darkness, so here are my tips to try and help. I present to you Version 1.0 of
The Mens Guide To Dating A Geek Girl.
Getting Your First Geek Girl
So you’ve seen a geek girl. She’s got the Tina Fey glasses on and the hair is thrown up in a mess, she’s wearing clothes just frumpy enough you can’t tell what kind of body she has. Trust me, my friends, if she’s like any geek girl I have ever known, she has a better body than Eva Longoria. She just doesn’t need to flaunt it because Pete Yorn would never date Eva Longoria anyway. Now you just have to talk to her.
1. Be direct.
No matter what she looks like, geek girls are no different than geek guys. She will likely seem a little aloof, maybe even defensive. She is just baffled that you can’t see inside her to the geek she is and wonders if this is a prank.
2. Open with something memorable.
“No way a hot girl like you has such mad skillz,” is worth a shot.
Alternate: “If I ever get to redesign keyboards I will put U and I together.” She will likely respond that they actually are already together on keyboards, which means you let her be smarter than you and she will find your clumsy pick-up attempt charming. Nicely done.
3. Ask which Yahoo chat room is her favorite.
If the answer is anything other than “I don’t go into Yahoo chat rooms” find a different geek girl. Geek girls don’t hang out in Yahoo chat rooms so kick this twink to the curb. IRC is okay.
4. Learn to play Half-Life.
I know it’s old. Chicks still play it. Science has no answer for that.
5. Stevie “Killcreek” Case comparisons can never be wrong.
Geek girls know their gaming history.
6. Do not ask her if she prefers Python because it’s a more “feminine” language.
She probably does. But it’s a bad idea to say it.
The Geek Girl Relationship
Some men want to be teachers. They like feeling worldly and prefer a companion who sits childlike and listens to their stories while wanting their women to have a history that would make the Virgin Mary feel promiscuous. If so, a geek girl is not for you. Geek girls, like geek guys, take a while to open up but, when they do, they are total hellcats. This is mostly because they are well-read and your geek girl trusts you and she thinks relationships should be fun but you, my friend, are not her first relationship. This does not make her a whore but it probably does mean you can call her one during sex without suffering physical harm. That said, to keep a geek girl truly happy you should also note the following:
1. Figure out which Star Wars character you are.
Let’s face it, she wants either Han or Luke. If she wants one, and you are the other, exit the airlock quickly. You’re not Don Quixote.
Alternate: However, a well-timed “You truly belong here with us among the clouds” Lando Calrissian impression will enhance any geek relationship. If you happen to surprise her with that in front of her geek friends and they laugh, you are totally going to hit that.
2. She had a life before she met you.
Because she is a geek girl, she is on the internet. Trust me, if she is funny and smart, she has been propositioned online more than Marilyn Monroe at a Kennedy luncheon. She may keep a few dorks around who say nice things and pump up her ego, but it’s okay to trust her. She’s with the person she wants to be with.
3. There is a significant chance she is smarter than you.
She’s not going to flaunt it but if you try to patronize her and her eyes narrow to slits that look like something Cylons fire laser beams out of, believe me, they will become slits firing Cylon laser beams if you don’t stop your sentence and run quickly from the room, waving your arms and yelling “Danger, Wil Robinson! Danger!” or something else to make her laugh. Do it quickly. The downside to having a geek girl smarter than you is she has figured out your weaknesses and can make you cry.
Keeping Your Geek Girl
1. You still have to dress the part.
A. Keep it simple. Just because she’s a geek girl doesn’t mean she will tolerate you wearing a Pokemon shirt with barbecue sauce on it from dinner three nights ago. Jeans that fit and a shirt are all you need for hanging out. You want to look like you haven’t put any thought into it but make sure you have.
B. Do not wear a sports jersey. Unless you are a player on the Pittsburgh Penguins.
2. She wants you to respect her smarts but she has been told how intelligent she is all her life.
A. She’s still a woman. If you don’t think she’s sexy, why are you hanging out with her? Switching this on and off is key. Getting all neanderthal when she’s up to her eyeballs in Python is a bad idea. But occasionally grabbing her by a belt loop as she walks by and pulling her into your lap for a quick kiss on the neck is going to pay geek dividends later.
B. Do not tell her she’s cute. 7 out of 10 geek girls are cute – and they are sick of hearing it. Sometimes they want to be beautiful, exotic or drop-dead gorgeous. She owns a little black dress for a reason, my friend, and that reason is because it does not radiate ‘cute.’
3. Sometimes you should treat her like she’s a guy.
Jumping up to take a box away from her is likely to get you a snippy comment such as “Thanks, but I’ve been genetically engineered to lift things that weigh five pounds.” If she is carrying a refrigerator, use your judgment. Opening doors is always okay.
In Conclusion
I hope this small effort on the part of science to add to your geek seduction repertoire finds you in a happy place with a geek girl in 1/nth time it took me to learn this sage wisdom the hard way. This list is by no means comprehensive. Should you feel I have omitted any key strategies. let me know for Version 2.0. And geek girls, if you have any advice, try and help the fellas out.
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| Talkdigger it
January 29th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
I love your site, have been reading and giggling. I fall in the category (older) geek girl – and I admire your guide to dating geek girls.
Several comments:
not all of us are developers, some are into infrastructure, architecture or databases. So Python frequently does not apply
something that has pissed me off to no end – when I’m with a guy in an electronics shop, the shopkeeper assumes that its the guy he has to talk with, not me.
I have many tips I can share, but am too sleepy now, will try again another time. In any case, thanks for maintaining such a cool site!
January 29th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Yana,
Thanks so much! I write this stuff, and I know a lot of people read it, but no one ever comments. I am told it is because I am too impossibly funny and people are intimidated.
Thank you for being stronger than others!
And you can help me write the Geek Guide V2.0. No Python needed!
June 6th, 2007 at 5:36 am
I think ever guy at one time in their life has dated a geek girl. Funny post.
Chris
June 14th, 2007 at 9:48 am
hi all.
July 4th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Too funny, just wish I could find a geek girl! So sick of dating lingerie models…
July 4th, 2007 at 7:00 pm
[...] !The Mens Guide To Dating Geek Girls V 1.0 [...]
July 6th, 2007 at 11:45 am
Scott said: “Too funny, just wish I could find a geek girl! So sick of dating lingerie models…”
I feel your pain, brother!
July 11th, 2007 at 11:36 pm
OMG. omg. shut. up. shut. up. no. way. NO. WAY! this is such a great blog topic! Love it! My only advice?
1. Tell me you love lamp.
2. Be yourself!!
I have a fetish for string & particle theory, all things quantum, metaphysics, and philosophy. At the same time I love numbing my brain with some Family Guy, or Simpsons reruns but I don’t expect every guy I date to relate to that. Rather I find it super sexylicious when a guy has his own passions and I happen to notice how well read he is on those particular subjects.
3. Listen! (or at least pretend to) when I’m discourse on my philisophical theories of the interconnetedness of all of existence, offering a brief synopsis on Lisa Randall’s “Warped Passages: Unravelling the mysteries of the Universes Hidden Dimensions,” the concept of alternate realities, and relativity, in order to explain how it all leads us back to the mystery that is God. (I’ll make it up to you later, wink, wink :0)
July 12th, 2007 at 7:10 am
Veronica, it looks like you can help for V 2.0. That lamp line is gold!!!
August 5th, 2007 at 11:58 pm
Wow, I became hilarious to read this.
For I see people call me a nerd, geek, freak, or dork at http://www.metacafe.com/watch/42537/dj_frog/ , I think I’m entitled to proudly comment here.
Find me and my comments in the URL.
Yes, I’ve heard “Cute!” so many times, but it still does not make me sick.
It’s a representation of your attitude to a geek girl. She’s not gorgeous in appearance, so cuteness is important in balancing her self-esteem.
Oh, no, in most times, you should treat her like she’s a guy.
She’ll be pleased at tour treating as a colleague, or as a same-level person.
And don’t forget to treat her as a woman once in a far while.
August 8th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
[...] a word from science and supermodels about how to obtain the geeky girl of your dreams. i mean, doesn’t everyone want a math nerd to call their own? Let’s face it, sometimes we get tired of dating models. Sure, they clean up well but it gets annoying having to tell her she’s beautiful a hundred times a day and the cocaine bill gets expensive. You might think you have no hope of getting an attractive low-maintenance geek girl and I am inclined to agree ( that you can’t anyway ) but I would rather light a candle than curse your darkness, so here are my tips to try and help. I present to you Version 1.0 of The Mens Guide To Dating A Geek Girl. [...]
October 17th, 2007 at 9:48 am
[...] We discussed additional nuances of finding and keeping your perfect mate in the now legendary Mens Guide To Dating A Geek Girl v 1.0 so I won’t duplicate that here but at some point you will go beyond the initial stages and be settled into a comfortable relationship. It’s not all balloons and ponies then, my friends. But science can help here as well. [...]
November 12th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
loved it
)
} pool and a beer (shit you not) or even a kids amusement centre…
do not take her to a movie for the first date !!
go somewhere where you are both caught up in what your doing eg, mini-golf {keep the scores even
your to busy to get nervous then and you both relax cause you have something to talk about
November 12th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Yeah, the no-movie thing is a rule. Going on a date and being quiet and still for two hours is just basically a way of saying you shouldn’t be there at all.
Pool and a beer? Definitely a geek girl. Or a redneck.
November 21st, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Greetings… If you visit the site, http://www.ocpink.com you will see the end result of many “geek girls” that I know and have photographed.
This weekend I begin shooting for:
http://www.beautifulgeekgirls.com
It is a new site I am developing to partner with the beautiful models of Orange County on http://www.ocpink.com .
I really would like some suggestions on what situations you would like to see the geek girls in… Do you want them in underwear playing Halo? Do you want them stealing skateboards. Do you want them in the library secretly reading a Green Lantern Comic Book inside of their homework assignment? Feel free to email at http://www.ocpink.com with your thoughts. Zap any email address as I receive them all. Hope to hear from you!
Anthem
December 2nd, 2007 at 6:48 pm
Hi, the blog is very informative and useful for all..
December 8th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
Well, I went and looked and there’s just a Go-Daddy placeholder. I didn’t even know anyone used Go-Daddy.
Actually, why do you use Go-Daddy? Telling me you like to pay more for less is cool. Please tell me you don’t host there too??
January 6th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
[...] Mens Guide To Dating A Geek Girl [...]
January 8th, 2008 at 12:07 am
i need sexy pics plz
January 19th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
I thought GoDaddy was a good deal! What do you recommend instead?
February 2nd, 2008 at 5:17 pm
This is a great article that I feel captures the basics of what geek girls want. My only caveat: While all geeks are Internet literate, we’re not all programming geeks. I know a good bit about programming, but it’s not my thing. Keep in mind that though there are some core values that most geeks share, we’re a really diverse bunch. I’m more on the academic side, myself.
February 7th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Scott,
Dreamhost.
Anon,
If you went to Japan and saw a bunch of people who say they play video games, you wouldn’t really be able to distinguish the role players from the action gamers from the social community ones, even if they told you.
Well, that’s how men see women.
February 29th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Ok, the part about us geeky girls not liking to be treated like a lady is a little untrue. We love it! Most men will only treat ‘hot’ girls that way and think because we are not super models we somehow are less of a woman??? Or dont deserve the same treatment? Sure there are some of us who are into equal rights, but for the most part, I dont know any girl who would complain about a guy opening doors for her or helping her out with heavy lifting.
And how about talking photoshop and networking to us? That my friends IS sexy. And another thing, now your LOTR! Or any D&D mythical creature for that matter…. Video games can be a plus as long as your not talking Madden or some other lame o sports game.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Great article – not quite sure if it is written ‘tongue in cheek’, but very funny in parts. Geek Girls surely do make the best girlfriends, I know, I have one!
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:54 pm
Its good if you’ve have ever played an old school system. Pre ps is good. Bonus for atari.
If she plays warcraft, buy it and ask her to go on a quest with you.
Play rock paper scissors when you’ve run out of convo, or when your trying to figure out who goes first when playing pool
March 27th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
True. I think of them as “stealth hotties”. And another friend of mine calls them “minimizers”. They’re the Rachel Leigh Cook of the hottie world. The pre-”ugly duckling to swan” look. Minimizers makes sense, because they don’t have to wear the five inch heels, fish nets, cut offs, mini mini skirts and other slutwear and still be sexy (but of course, they are all but invisible to the non-geek eye…), thank God. Who needs the competition?!
June 14th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
@Anon
You mean everyone in the world does not program? OMG I so need to get out more!
@whoever wrote the article (don’t want to look)
The article is pretty good, I don’t date as I am too busy with my schooling at the moment but I am pretty sure that all girls like to be treated like they are the center of the universe. Also it appears they do not like talking about geek stuff all the time. Women are rare in the world of programming, you are more likely to find them in networking or some type of science. Does anybody even use python anymore? I hate it. I mean I would use that before visual basic. People who learn that are doomed from the start. I think my dog can do basic.
[ Sorry about my spelling and grammer it has never been my strong point.]
On an ending note: ~ Kirby Dance ~
<(.^<) (>^.)>
September 27th, 2008 at 9:00 am
????????? ???? ?????????
April 19th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Major props for the Don Quixote reference with the StarWars metaphor.
I love the descriptions because I fit right in. Of course, I’m the one who wrote a Java program of the knitting pattern I designed… And I just downloaded Complete Scoundrel for my rogue and a few other D&D handbooks from one of the “few dorks [I keep] around who say nice things and pump up [my] ego” (He’s also one of my “adopted” brothers – a Luke, if you will).
April 20th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
That kind of overkill is the sort of unnecessary intellectual extravagance that makes me really, really proud you read this article.
May 8th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Wow, this is awesome. as a geek girl myself, I hope some of your male readers take this to heart… especially the bit about it’s okay to treat us like “one of the guys” sometimes. Yes, it irritates the crap out of me when I’m perfectly capable of carrying something and a guy tries to take it from me. But yes, it’s important to balance that out by recognizing our amazing female sexiness.
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:48 pm
I’ve read this article, thinking “I would’ve guessed that” for half the tips and “not my approach, but I can see that” for the other half. Then, I read the comments (which I rarely do anywhere) and I’m quite amazed and how spot-on this is. I’m a 22 year old guy in Alabama. I won’t say where exactly, but the population of our town drops from 55,000 to 27,000 for a few weeks in between semesters, so you do the math
Anyhow, despite this being Alabama, I kinda always figured that since it’s also a college town, there had to be a few geeky chicks somewhere around here. Yet, I frequent almost ever coffee shop here (there are 3 in a row and then another around the corner so I usually go on 4 hour binges buying one iced latte at each shop, per hour). and make a point of using my Tilda terminal with Nano on my ASUS EEE 901, occasionally re-configuring the routers at the shops since they reset them every so often (via telnet of course). I guess my point is, I’ve never seen a single geek girl here! This is a college town where the two main things the school is known for is Agriculture and Engineering, and over 6,000 girls graduate with an engineering degree here every year, yet if any of you run anything besides Windows and drink coffee, you are nowhere to be found!
I suppose what I’m saying is, I don’t need a guide for trying to hook up with a geek girl. I need a guide for locating one at all! Girls, any tips on where yall hang out? Do yall prefer bars over coffee shops, or do you just spend every spare moment at the library? Should I be trying to find local LAN parties and find you there later on? What do you chicks do in your spare time and why am I never able to find you there?
If anyone wants to meet me specifically, I write PHP and know pretty much all the built in functions from memory, and I used to use RDP to a Win2k server, then SSH tunnel through a Centos server to a win2k3 VNC server, and finally hyperterminal to a cisco router from there to check static DHCP assignments. Twice weekly, back when I was an admin for a small, regional ISP. I’ll recheck comments here for a while so let me know if that sounds interesting to you
August 17th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
I am a geek girl and I can appreciate this article. However, I am also a sports fan. My favorite sport is hockey and if any guy (professional hockey players included) tried to hit on me wearing a Penguins jersey I’d laugh in his face and tell him to proposition Sidney Crosby insteaad. Maybe Geno is tired tonight.
January 15th, 2010 at 9:39 am
I’m also a geek girl.. while I hate stereotypes I have to say this is quite on the money in some places and fun to read.
At the end of the day though, we are still women. I would say I’m attractive for sure. I just like killing dragons :-/ Leave me alone to it! x
February 8th, 2010 at 1:25 pm
It isn’t a stereotype if it tends to be true, it is keen observation, like we do with any animal in the wild – except women are animals that might have sex with us.