Groundbreaking - and heartwarmingly unessential - research done by University of Central Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou has attempted to confirm what a generation of suicide girls has always feared - that vampires do not exist.
His reasoning? On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was just over 530 million people. If one vampire existed on that day and bit one person per month, and then each new vampire also bit one person per month, by 1605 the entire planet would be nothing except vampires.
Now, I am okay with there being no vampires, though I think the world would be poorer without that cinema classic, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.
And, without vampires, I would not be able to spend 4 seconds scouring the internet and find pictures like this:
So we can’t just let someone claim they have wiped out a millenium of folklore by doing simple ( very simple ) math. First, let’s deal with the premise behind his numbers. Professor Efthimiou’s research assumes that each vampire bite results in another vampire being created. People, if there’s one thing I know, it’s vampires ( and Thai transvestites, but hey, that is a post for another time ) and I need only point you to the definitive work on the matter, Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Yes, she looks as all women should look; like a sexy, zombie skeleton.
Additionally, back in 2000, in the British series Ultraviolet,
This was on TV, people. If you can’t believe what you see on TV, I can’t reason with you.
Professor Efthimiou’s simple and surprisingly jingoistic math and logic errors mean that there is still at least some statistical chance that vampires could exist. However, there is also some statistical chance I am a Chinese jet pilot. Yet, since the chance exists that vampires are roaming the earth, it can’t hurt to have a vampire slayer handy.
Everyone goes for Buffy. I’d rather have a little Faith.
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This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 25th, 2006 at 9:09 pm and is filed under actresses, blondes, buffy, culture, goth chicks, holidays, hot chicks, math, physics, television, vampires. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
March 31st, 2007 at 3:16 pm
Oh my god. Who knew? I know a *bunch* of girls that will be very upset about this.
Although, I am with you. I have felt that I could use more Faith in my life.
March 31st, 2007 at 6:13 pm
If you’re a good and noble person, you will offer to console them in their time of grief. Discovering they actually won’t be part of a real-life Anne Rice novel is hard on some.
I’ve found shots of Jaeger help.
June 18th, 2007 at 7:09 am
Who says you turn into a vampire when you get bitten… I know its in some of the legends but instead of forgetting vampires just think about it… and if it where true that you would turn into a vampire the vampires would not want a Human to posses this power they would kill people and preserve there blood therefore having Blood to last at least 6 months with the body of one person… or they could keep the person alive and extract the blood from the person and since the person stays alive the blood keeps rejuvenating itself therefore an endless supply of blood (until the person gets old of Corse) and then you would say no one could get away with taking someone and doing that to them nowadays because people would notice But you are wrong my guess is that vampires most likely try to blend in with us and work the night shift at a hospital and take blood from those bag thingy’s
June 30th, 2007 at 11:43 am
VAMPIRES real. I know that they are real and they rock. VAMPIRES ROCK!!! {I have a friend that knows a vampire his name is Frost I’ve never really met him but i’ve heard him talk on the phone.His voice is like really deep and he sounds so sweet. Frost didn’t know my friend had the phone on loudspeaker so he said he’s going to drink some blood to keep his hype up.} I know people will not obviously believe me but I can’t forse them to believe me
October 17th, 2007 at 7:43 am
I do belive in vampires. and i woudl die just to become one!
October 17th, 2007 at 11:14 am
That’s the sexiest comment anyone ever left on this site.
November 19th, 2007 at 10:37 am
im a vampire the ledgend of vampires isn’t real, we cant produce more vampires, you have to want to be, kinda like being bi,we cant fuck you and you turn bi you have to want it… lol
December 7th, 2007 at 1:55 am
real
December 7th, 2007 at 1:56 am
any sexy goth chicks out there i luv u nd bob luvs u 2
February 5th, 2008 at 8:49 am
i’m a vampire and so i believe in it, and is you dont believe me…it doesn’t bother me, cauze there are people that belive it and not, but i’m still believe in it, and i’m still a vamp
February 25th, 2008 at 11:56 am
vamps are deffinitly real.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:22 pm
i definatly believe in vampires even though some people think they are not real but i have never met one and i would like to so if you are a vampire get it touch with me i would love to talk to you yer still, i think vampires are real for the obvious reasons that we cannot explain some things and that if u read a book that has vampires in them they are not always fictional and they say in the front cover no offense to people who act or are the same as the characters in this book so yer so yer i would love to meet them and i will believe in them even if someone says they are not real no-one can change my mind
July 13th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Hi
when i was little i whent into my sisters bedroom she was with her friends and they were all sat on her bed which was under the window i stood faceing the window and saw something,
a figure of a man in wierd tatty cloths hovering just stareing right at me i couldnt see his face propaly but i am
sure it was a man and there was nothing under its feet i turned away and when i looked back it was gone i only looked away for a seccond,
it was strange it still bugs me till this day i asume it was a vampire of some sort but who’s to know jst thought id share that,
i havnt expeirenced anything like this since apart from when i ran way from home i got lost about 4 miles away and it was dark streets were empty i looked on into a dark area and saw a figure of a man he must of been wearing black i remember he was wearing a hat and it was just stood there i was so scared it followed me when i went around a corner and then i assume it started chasing me as it vanished it could of been some sico man who likes little girls lol i dunno
would love to talk to a vampire face to face tho and find out more about them i would love to just meet one propoly in person but wouldnt we all anyways i do beileve they exist but thats all down to my experience as a child other wise i wouldnt be so sure.
thanx for reading this if u did.