There once were two girls, Betty and Veronica, who loved a boy. One was a cute blonde girl who didn’t like being called cute and one was a sexy brunette with big cans who wanted to be respected for her brains. The blonde girl liked the bad boys and the the brunette girl liked … the bad boys. Yes, even when they were over the age of 30, Betty and Veronica still liked the bad boys, which defies logic and common sense. That they both like the same bad boy makes even less sense.
So Betty marries a bad boy whose whose music I have never listened to
Why bring this up? Because one of the science groupies in blogdom who lurk without commenting wrote me an email poem which quite cleverly referenced the whole David Spade/Heather Locklear madness of a few weeks ago. There is no more fitting allegory for Betty and Veronica than Heather Locklear and Denise Richards, which is why this parable needs two parts. The question via poem goes:
Cash, you are my final chance
Of finding the true happenstance
For I have read of David Spade
Who, with Heather Locklear, must have it made
This unusual pairing, at least so far
Involves Sheen and Richards and some old rock star
What I don’t understand is just why they
Can’t like one another, at the end of the day?
I agree about the baffling nature of this whole thing. You know things have gone crazy when the girl from Wild Things
And you know she is playing for keeps when all Charlie Sheen
Thus my answer, in rhyming verse:
You came to Cash, guru of physics
Who writes sexy equations and confounds his critics
(Not bad? Don’t worry. This part of the verse
Starts out okay, but it gets a lot worse.)
Seems Richie Sambora, wed to Heather Locklear,
While married still liked Denise Richards’ rear.
“What now?” wailed Heather. Said Richie, “Don’t panic,
They were just a few pics I got from my mechanic.”
Consider Miss Heather, who saved Aaron Spelling
And still looks pretty good, wonders what they’re not telling.
If that’s not confusing, this whole messy dance
involves porn and dead hookers and Spade with a chance.
No sweat, though–my sources permit me to say
Spade’s cardboard cut-outs make this all go away.
Not everyone bought this. It threatens to wreck
A couple of marriages due to cause and effect.
My prediction is this, sure they’re all just plain crazies,
But their pussy’s are still purring, not pushing up daisies.
In other words, Betty and Veronica aren’t exactly done with their bad boys yet. And you can bet there will be a poem with updates in the future.
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This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 9th, 2006 at 9:38 pm and is filed under culture, hot chicks, movies, music, physics, relationships, science, television. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
